What is kindness? How do we measure it? Are you a kind person? Let's find out.
"Treat everyone with kindness, even to those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are"
Important: make sure to read what kindness is not
My mom used to tell me that you can know a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. Animals, especially those small in size, are often defenseless and offer no reward to those who treat them with kindness. And yet we find many videos online of people going to great lengths to stop traffic to help baby ducks cross the roads, or free turtles who have gotten their bodies tangled in plastic waste. It's easy to be kind to loved ones or those who treat us well, but a kind person is kind because that's who they are, not because they get anything out of it. They are kind to the cleaner and to the CEO; they are kind in public and behind closed doors. We all have the ability to be kind, but if it is part of our character, then it will reflect in all our ways.
So here are some points on what kindness is. May this be a time of self-reflection and growth within this area.
Kindness is...
Self-less
As the name suggests, self-less is thinking of yourself less. This doesn't mean putting yourself down or ignoring your own needs, but it's being mindful of other people and your willingness to help them. This could be as simple as offering someone a drink before you pour yourself one, or letting the lady in the que with only two items go in front of you and your large trolley.
A fruit of love
Love and kindness go hand in hand. When you love people and the world around you, it makes it a lot easier to be kind to them. In order to love other people, you need to love yourself. This is why it is written, "Love your neighbour as yourself". When you treat yourself with love and kindness it will shine through you and reflect in the way you treat others. Everything good is rooted in love.
Our words, thoughts and deeds
If we are outwardly helping someone but cursing them in our mind, then our kindness is in vain. Same goes if we are are helping out whilst verbally complaining. If we are operating from a place of true kindness, then our words, thoughts and actions will be aligned.
Genuine
What is your motive behind your actions? Is it to look good in front of others or to feel better about yourself? Is it to win favour with a person, expecting them to do something kind in return? If so, you may be acting out of ego rather than kindness. Whilst helping others does make us feel good (which is a positive thing) it shouldn't be our main motive. Nor should we be keeping tabs on our good deeds, counting them up expecting others to repay us for them. True kindness is genuine: it gives freely, helps willingly and loves unconditionally, regardless of expectations, praise or reward.
There are of course many other ways kindness can be expressed and described. These are just some of the key points to think about when reflecting on your own understanding and expression of kindness. Remember, it is easy to deceive ourself into thinking we are a 'good' or kind person because we do nice, kind things every once in a while. But if you truly want it to be a part of your character whilst on your self-development journey, then be honest with yourself when self-reflecting on these points. How do you you're a kind person? Is it because other people tell you so? Or is it because that's what you tell yourself? Either way, it's great that you are wanting to grow in kindness and I hope my blogs will help you do so!
